Mom didn’t have to work this morning, so she promised me days ago that we would sneak into a park at sunrise and run on the trails. She said if we got there early enough, she’d even let me off leash! So starting at 4am I hopped into bed and started kissing her face to wake her up. I aimed for the bloody bits because that would surely get her attention. “Hey! It’s time to wake up!” I said. “Oscar, go away,” Mom said. “Hey, it’s almost sunrise.” “Ach! In the mouth! Leave me alone!” “Hey! We’re gonna be late…!” Then Mom rolled over and I couldn’t reach her face anymore so I spent the next 2 hours trying to wake her up by slowly expanding until she was trying to sleep on a section of bed the size of a postage stamp.
By the time that lazy bag of bones got up, the sun was already rising and all we had time for was a short run around The Fart. I’ve really gotta get my own driver’s license…
–Oscar the Pooch

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