The Law paused to check out the Wagon’s butt. He clutched at a big button on his breast, tucked his chin, and whispered into it. It let out a squawk. 

“It’s the treasure that sparkles, not the treasure hunter,” I reminded her. “Why don’t you wear the sparkly clothes for a change?” “Don’t be silly,” Mom said. “You’re the star of the show.” I couldn’t argue with that.

Mom almost never runs with a water bottle, especially in a race, when people volunteer to serve her. Perhaps I should have insisted that she drink out of the puddle. 

Mom’s shoe reached under the table and hooked the loop. I clamped my butt to the floor and braced all four legs. The leash pulled taut and my collar dug into my neck. 

“You sure are lucky you’re leaving the City when you are. It’s coming…” She paused for a meaningful look and her eyes added, You know what I’m talking about and how monstrous it is. 

“I have a surprise for you,” Mom said. I lifted my head and cocked my ears, but she wasn’t looking at me. She was looking at the Witch.

It didn’t really matter where the Wagon was, as long as I was inside it with Mom. But what happens when your home goes back home?

“I guess I should introduce myself to all these disappointed people so they don’t feel like they drove so far from the Starbucks for nothing

“Maybe a prince will come knocking on every wagon door in Oregon searching for the freakishly small foot that fits,” I told her.

I sat up to see the luxury campground that would be our home for the night. “Look, Mom! A Wendy’s! And it’s right nextdoor!”

“It’s beautiful!” Mom said, still in that ooey-gooey strawberry-shortcake voice. “This must be what enchantment feels like.”

“Silly dog. Nature deals luck randomly. We have to be prepared for anything so we can survive a bad hand until the cards are dealt again.”

“I think I know where the potatoes are coming from,” Mom said. “Hang onto your hat, Spud. This is gonna blow your mind.”

“You don’t have to beat all of life’s levels by yourself. Sometimes someone has already made it easier, but you have to take their hints.”

I stepped into the river and made a big show of stopping for a drink to show the water that couldn’t push me around.

“They can’t catch us if we outrun them.” Mom leaned forward and fell uphill in what looked like the sprint of someone who just grew legs

She looked up like someone was calling her name and her eyes darted wildly, pointing at the empty air right above her head.

“It can’t possibly be unpaved all the way to Idaho,” Mom decided, forgetting that the Witch didn’t follow her orders like the Wagon and I di

“It must be a river,” Mom said in a sleepy voice. “This place is called Mad Gorge which means—"

I must have been behind a rock by the time Mom came by. The next time I heard her, she was bellowing my name from farther down the trail.