On Thursday night, Mom left me to guard the Covered Wagon while she went to a restaurant with our friends to talk about me behind my back. When they got back to the Covered Wagon, I was very upset about all of the nice things that they had been saying about me without me being able to hear, so I was very eager to have all of them pet me at once. Much to my surprise, instead of telling me goodbye, our friends got into the Covered Wagon with us, and since there are only two chairs in the Wagon, one of them had to get in the bed with me. I was very excited to host them insisted that all three humans put their hands on my muscles and scratch their fingers deep into my fur while we drove.
We drove into a part of The City where the streets stand up straight, and my Friend who was in the back with me had to hang on tight to the driving chair, and hug me close so that we wouldn’t both fall downhill and land on the trunk door. When my Friends kissed me goodbye and went into their house, it was already past Mom’s and my bedtime so we drove to our favorite sleeping spot. We like this spot because it that sits high on a hill overlooking the ocean, and is away from any houses but not far from a Starbucks where Mom can go to the bathroom and get coffee before we go hiking. Mom climbed in the back with me and we both dropped blissfully to sleep.
When we woke up a few hours later, we were both still very sleepy from the inquisition the night before, so Mom didn’t realize that she’d missed the turn to go to the spot where we’d planned to hike until it was too late. Instead of turning around, we decided to walk around The City instead. We parked at our garage, and walked out into the street. We walked past the train station where the human strays make forts out of blankets, dirty suitcases, and bicycles that don’t fit them. Then we walked through where the fast food restaurants are, and you can eat bits of chalupas off the sidewalk on one side of the street and pastries off the sidewalk on the other. Then we walked past the ugly bridge that looks like scaffolding outside an old timey mine and found ourselves on a clean and peaceful walkway with water on one side, and fancy stacks of houses surrounded by moats of flowers on the other.
desert gods. But a few houses that didn’t look like Legos had survived by jumping on rafts and floating on the water where the big buildings couldn’t reach them.
The City is famous for being very beautiful, but one of the strangest things about humans is that when they decorate their places to live, they prefer to look at things that they’ve made themselves rather than what nature left there for them. Then, when they don’t have anything to do, they visit nature where it’s “peaceful” and they can relax. If you try to mix nature into your life every day by camping after work, or open air pooping, or letting your house float on the water because it’s the land under your house that is the most expensive part, people think you’re dangerous and The Law tells you to move along. Humans are great companions, but they really are strange beasts.
Oscar the Pooch
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