I started the Tintin Quarantino book many years ago, while it was actually happening, but I didn't convince Mom to start working on it seriously until... Mooooom! When did you promise to actually finish it?
One year, three months, and twenty-four days ago.
... until more than a year ago.
Not to brag or anything, but we've been working really, really hard to tell the best version of my story that we possibly can. We've been spending about... Moooooom! How long do we spend writing every week?
Before or after we started your blog again?
Before that. When it was just the book.
Let's see... it probably about two hours a day on workdays and six to ten hours a day on weekends. Call it twenty hours a week.
...about twenny hours a week or something. In other words, we used whatever time Mom wasn't working on busy-ness to work on the book.
We did a draft to relive what happened. On the next draft, we rebuilt the plot. The next draft was all about words, finding the right ones and getting rid of the wrong ones. After that, we polished, reading every word aloud many times. We spent another draft taking advice from readers. After a year of working a little harder every week, Mom finally sent the momuscript to an editor.
"What's an editor going to say?" I asked. "Isn't it perfect just the way it is?"
"We should get a professional opinion, just in case. Don't worry, we'll only have to make a few changes, rewrite a few passages I was struggling with, and then we'll be ready to format and release it."
The editor
I didn't want to get out of shape while the editor was working, so I kicked off the reboot blog. It was fun to go back to the beginning and retell the story to a new audience. But even though the blog is a story I've told before, the retelling takes a lot more work than I expected. It takes about... Mooooooooom! How long do we spend on the blog each week?
Just the writing?
Yeah.
Maybe about ten to twelve hours on writing and editing.
That's it? I thought you were going to say forever.
That's not counting the time we spend editing images, cross-posting, and the rest of it. That takes about five hours. So, I don't know, fifteen? Twenty? More?
Is that more or less work than your regular job?
Less. A lot less.
...Blogging takes less time than a regular job, and it's a lot more fun.
But then the editor sucked all the fun out of it.
The editor said that Mom botched the translation even worse than I feared.
How could she read all that and still think you're a magical talking dog?
What? You don't?
You're a real dog that lives in the real world, but you have a richer inner life than people give you credit for. That's the whole point. Even Why should a dog need to talk like a dim-witted first grader to be realistic? What does "realistic" even mean in a story written by a dog.
Pacing
Time isn't the only thing that we keep running out of. Mom is also doing a whole lot more busy-ness than she was last year, so there hasn't been much time or Mompower left over for the book. Some days, Mom just poops out.
So we're going to slow down the blog so we can speed up the book. Just for a little while. Mooooooom! I just thought of something. If I'm not blogging, then how will I talk to my Friends?
How about we post some of the stuff that I've written?
No one wants to read that. There's a whole internet full of more interesting people talking about themselves. Most of them are better at it, too.
Maybe people will enjoy how it helps them get to know you better. Plus, won't it be fun to laugh at me with your Friends without having to do all the hard work yourself?
Good point. ...So we're going to slow down the blog for a little while to speed up on the book. In the meantime, Mom will take over my social media sometimes so I can take a week off. She's not very interesting, but don't you it's kind of cute that she's trying?
Instead of a new story every week, I'll post a new story every other week. On my off weeks, I'll let Mom guest post her side of our stories. Mom's guest posts will only be on social media, so you'll still need to be one of my Best Friends to read the entire story along with the true story from me.
What's that you say? Is there anything you can do to help? Why, I'm so glad you asked!
What can you do?
👍 Like - Continuing to like and comment on Mom's stories, even though there isn't nearly enough dog in them. Liking and commenting tells Facebook that you still want to hear from me and helps other Oscar lovers find me. Facebook stops showing my stories to Friends after just a few boring posts, and it takes weeks of balancing flowers on my head to find you again.
📚 Subscribe - You can subscribe to the blog on the Dogblog or on Substack. My stories are always free, or you can subscribe to Mom's stories for $3 per month. Your attention reminds Mom to stay focused on keeping her promises and helps other people get more Oscar in their lives.
💌 Share - Better yet, if you like my stories, you can share your favorites with a friend. Everything is better when you share it with a friend.
💭 Review - Not now, but when the book comes out. Amazon reviews are like Facebook comments for book stores. They help people with an Oscar deficiency get wholesome dog from a natural source, and help you be the first to know when I release a new project.
I'll see you there!