“It’s the treasure that sparkles, not the treasure hunter,” I reminded her. “Why don’t you wear the sparkly clothes for a change?” “Don’t be silly,” Mom said. “You’re the star of the show.” I couldn’t argue with that.

I must have been behind a rock by the time Mom came by. The next time I heard her, she was bellowing my name from farther down the trail.

“See!” Mom hooted. She clapped her hands and her surprised smile flickered in the firelight. “It wor... Oh.”

"Ack! Do you feel that?” Mom gasped. “The barometric pressure! I feel like I’m choking.”

“When I was younger, I used to look at maps of logging roads and imagine what it would be like to explore all those paths to nowhere.”

“You don’t know where they’ve been,” he said judgily, like Mom was irresponsible for not caring enough to check what her avocados were up to

“No, Mom!” I said with a subtle pull on the leash. “It’s a trap! He’s trying to dognap you!”

She didn't even bother to unlock the mailman van before she descended on me with a hunerd pinching fingers.

"You're not even paying attention to who might be sneaking up on you!” I checked out all the windows, then I checked them again.

"Oh brother," she said from behind me in a voice like an eye roll. My collar dug into my throat as she reeled me in a little closer.

"Mom! No! How could you? I'm a celebrity. It'll be all over TMZ! And my fans will never recognize me with that on."

The crowd went silent as everyone held their breath. The only noise on the farm was the chicka-chicka-chick of maracas. The squiggle snarled

Questions like that are how Mom cheats at arguments. She knows that dogs can't tell the future like she can.

Pots clattered as she dug through the kitchen, searching for I-knew-not-what. She grunted triumphantly and pulled out the knife.

Screams filled the inside of the mailman van as the ghosts of all the dogless families he'd eaten rattled the bars.

"Oh my dog! It's the shoopacabra!" I barked. "Let's get him!" I leaned hard into the leash and ordered him to run.

I couldn't tell if it was nature or civilization calling her back, just that Mom was accepting the call.

The car-house came to rest in a car kennel surrounded by sky. Only the crowns of a few mountains joined us in the sky, still dripping with

"Why would there be a parking lot if there were nothing to see? People who drive sedans don't go up a dirt road for nothing."

Death sat self-consciously behind them all, its bloodthirsty depths and time-stained teeth awkwardly out of place among the picnic tables, r