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Scariest day ever. This morning Mom was trying to run the ants out of my pants and the bees out of my bonnet, and all was going great until we came around the corner and I saw a MONSTER! It was all black from the neck down, and only just a little bit taller than me. It looked like a big blob with a human head sitting on top. And it was *smiling at me!* I immediately puffed myself up, and started barking at it. “What are you doing, stoopid?!” Mom asked me in her tea kettle voice. “She’s just tying her shoes!” “If you’re not scared of that thing, then you get eaten by it!” I said, and put Mom between it and me. I’ve seen Mom tie her shoes before, and she still has arms and legs when she does it. Mom said that the monster had arms and legs too, but I just couldn’t see them because she was wearing all black and some trick of the light, and maybe because I’m color blind. But I know what I saw, because I refused to take my eyes off of it until we were safely around the corner.


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