Mail to the chief
- 2 days ago
- 9 min read
Suddenly, a bandit popped out from behind a bush. It stood in a star shape, blocking the sidewalk. “Oscar!” it growled.
The bandit was tall and lean, and even though her face was hidden beneath a hat, behind sunglasses, and under a muzzle, I wasn’t fooled for a second.
“Oscar! Oscar! Oscar!” The Bandit play-growled as her arms twinkled.
“Lily!” I screeched. I blasted off down the sidewalk with so much force that the leash burst out of Mom’s hand. I closed the rest of the distance in a blur, and nearly toppled Lily in a high-impact hug. “How did you get here? You’ll never believe all the things that have happened since I saw you last!” I panted over my shoulder as she gave me a ten-fingered butt scratch that went all the way to my ears.
I hadn’t seen Lily since she’d tricked Mom and me into running all those extra killmometers in the dooms. When she put Mom up to it, Lily couldn’t have known about the dangers of drinking from a shared cup. She couldn’t have predicted the risks of using snotty fingers to put unwrapped M&M’s from shared bowls into a muzzleless mouth. How could she have guessed at the life-threatening peril of sitting inside a restaurant? I’d long ago forgiven Lily for putting Mom in danger, and I was glad that Mom had finally come around to forgiving the extra killmometers, too.
It was hard to imagine that we were so primitive back then. We just didn’t know any better. Everything was much better ever since they passed a law that everyone had to eat outside with their dogs.
“Guess what!” I told Lily. “Nature is still open! You don’t even have to be sneaky anymore, they’ll just let you in the gate like in the old days. Some of the people potties are even open. Wanna see?”
“Let’s grab breakfast here so we don’t have to eat in the car,” Mom suggested. It was one of the best ideas she’d ever had.
“Did you know that some restaurants have always let people eat outside?” I asked Lily as Mom tied the leash to a table leg.
“True that,” interrupted a German shepherd, who stopped by our table on the way to the potty. “They even have public bathrooms out here.” He jumped into the planter that made the outdoor walls of the restaurant and peed on the flowers.
I don’t usually like it when Mom ties me up and goes somewhere without me, but with Lily there, I didn’t need to bark. While Mom went inside to order, I taught Lily about breakfast. “Here, let me show you how it works,” I coached. “First you say, I’d like a side of bacon. Then you ask, Can I get that with cheese? Now you try.”
Mom came back and Lily took her turn inside. “Don’t forget to tell them to put it on a different plate so I don’t have to share,” I wagged after her.
