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Fairy prince

My family’s strange behavior continues. First, Mom waited till mid-morning to take me to the Wetlands that Smell Like a Fart, and we started at the end rather than the beginning. It’s getting to be that time of year when there are thick clouds of gnats early in the mornings. When it gets really bad, Mom runs with a bandana around her face, and I run biting the air like a rabid dog. This morning it wasn’t that bad, but there were still lots of bugs. Mom had to keep her head down so that her visor was blocking her face from flying bugs, which isn’t so bad because then she gets to focus on my attractive and shapely butt. Today she noticed that there was a cloud of gnats flying exactly on pace with me, like I was king of a fleet of fairies galloping into battle. I told Mom that she was reading too much into my recent dabbling in women’s clothing, and if I were the lead of any fleet, it would be a fleet of badass fighter jets.

But then when we came home something *really* strange happened. Mom and NotMom popped in a DVD and started bouncing and rolling around the living room like crazy people. This. Was. Awesome! While they jogged in place (what’s the point of THAT?!) I ran back and forth between them pointing my face at one, and my wagging tail nubbin at the other, barking my face off. But it got even better! They got down on the ground and started pushing themselves off the floor over and over again. I kept barking in their ears, and running back and forth: this time licking NotMom in the armpit and Mom in the face. When they weren’t down on the ground, I played rounds of Run Around and Bark at Each Other with my sister, making sure to stay within 2″ of one of our twitching and wobbling parents at all times. Who knew that watching a DVD as a family could be so fun?!

–Oscar the Pooch



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