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Today we went to the beach. I like the beach, but my sister llloooovvvveeessss the beach. She starts whining and smashing her silly nose on the car window the moment she smells it. Then she does this funny little dance before attacking the wave and biting it. I play along because she has so much fun I figure I must be missing something, but secretly it just makes me thirsty to bite the waves.

Anyway, Mom took us to the beach and me and my sister dragged Mom down to the water. And I mean dragged. She wasn’t wearing any shoes, and sand is slippery, and me and my sister together are pretty strong so she just sand skied down to the waves, where she said, “I give up!” and let my sister off leash, but not me. Because I “scare people.” Whatever.

Then Mom started running. It was insane! Mom was trying to run in a straight line, my sister would cut her off attacking the waves right under her feet, and I just chased everything that moved, pulling Mom every which way. We went on like that for almost 3 miles, with my sister screaming in excitement, me screaming to the heavens how much fun I was having, and Mom screaming because she was about to fall over. I thought Mom would be grumpy after all that screaming, but she said it was probably the best workout in the world for her stabilizing muscles.

Her good mood didn’t last long, though. First, she had to let us take the beach into her car and home with us, because she’d forgotten a towel. Then she noticed (while driving 80mph on the freeway) that there was a parking ticket on her windshield. We’d only been in the 30min zone for 35 min, so that’s probably why she made me take a bath when we got home. No fair! I didn’t write the stupid ticket, and I’m not the one that held us up by taking a poo break. Hmph.

Oscar the Pooch



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