On Friday, Bodie and I finished our Best Day Ever by going to the off leash dog park and using our sniffers to hunt for treats. Then, when we left, Mom got on the freeway the wrong way. She drove us a long way in the wrong direction, then pulled into a parking spot and waited like she was conducting some illegal business. A few minutes later two people who looked vaguely familiar walked up to the car.
“Mom! Dad!” Bodie shouted through the window. “Mom’s right here in the car with us,” I explained, confused at her confusion. Then, Mom let us out of the car and the man gave me butt scratches and banged on me in that way that makes me sound like a kettle drum, and then the people put Bodie into their car. “But where’s Oscar going?” she asked “But Mom, how can you let these people take Bodie away from us?” I asked. Mom didn’t answer, but she did give me a cookie from the kidnapping couple. Then we went home.
So I have Mom back to myself. I took her for a long walk yesterday. “See how much less grouchy you are when no one is pulling on you,” I asked. “Who’s a good boy?” “You’re a good boy, Oscar,” she conceded. She used to tell me that all the time, but ever since Bodie came over, Mom needed most of her words to tell Bodie to slow down, and didn’t have as many words left over to remind me how much she loves me.
This morning we went back to the Wetlands that Smell Like a Fart. With no Bodie to drag us around, we ran a little bit slower, but there was also a lot less yelling. Because we weren’t chasing every goose, squirrel, duck, fox, bunny, and rustling patch of shrub, Mom was able to concentrate on what is important in life. She looked down at me often, and I smiled back at her. “Who’s a good boy?” she asked me each time. “Me, dummy!” I grinned back. “I’m the good boy!”
We did see one squirrel, which I chased with 90% enthusiasm, and Mom also yelled with 90% enthusiasm, and we didn’t even have to stop to get untangled before we could continue on our way which was pretty cool.
Having family come stay is fun; you get to show off all the great things in your life, and have someone to wrestle with when you’re bored. But it’s also nice to not have to play host. What brother has NOT dreamed about selling his troublemaking sibling off to the circus, and keeping everything special for himself? I don’t have to share my toys, and Mom is less stressed out and yell-y with just me to keep her company. We get to pick our own pace on walks and runs, and I get all the extra egg bites and baby carrot butts when Mom is eating. Best of all, there’s no one in the house to run up and interrupt the second that Mom gives me lovins and belly scratches. So, on balance, I guess it’s pretty great being an only child again.
–Oscar the One and Only
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