I don’t post much about my humdrum little walks around the neighborhood, but today our routine little walk turned into something way special. Mom and I walked down to the elementary school where I used to bark at my friends on weekend mornings (back when I was allowed to see my friends, before I was an asshole). I couldn’t understand why she was leaving me on leash and just standing there, not doing anything fun. I was disappointed as disappointed can be until, I saw a damned good-looking dog getting out of a car. I hadn’t seen such a magnificent pooch since I looked in the mirror this morning. It was… MY TWIN SISTER!
I’ve only met my real family once a long time ago. My litter came in all shapes, sizes and colors: some of us are black and white, but others are brown or just plain white. All of my brothers are bigger than me (one is almost 70lb!), but I have one sister who’s smaller than me, and we’re the only two from our litter that look just alike. I was SO happy to see her again.
I showed her My Field where I barked in her face and she actually understood that it meant that she was supposed to run. We played tag a bit, and then I got back in her face and screamed, “Come at me!” And she did. And we wrestled. We were just two assholes playing happily together, not bothering anyone. You guys, I can’t tell you how great it was not to be misunderstood…! “You like to chase squirrels?” I asked. “*I* like to chase squirrels! “You like to bark at everything that moves and lots of things that don’t? *I* like to bark at everything I see and hear! “You like to rip up the mail?! Ripping up the mail is my new favorite thing to do!”
I was having so much fun, that I showed my TwinSister the way to my house and invited her in. We played and played until our necks were covered in slobber, while my NotRealSister looked on and just shook her head. Then Mom told me something really, really great: My TwinSister’s parents (my aunt and uncle) are going on an EIGHT WEEK honeymoon, and my TwinSister is going to come stay with us the whole time! She’s going to do all the fun things that my NotRealSister never does with me, like go on early morning patrols on My Trail, go up in the real trails in the mountains and sniff around for treats that Mom hides around the house. With the two of us outnumbering Mom, this is going to be AWESOME! I can’t wait until January! Can! Not! Wait!
–Oscar the Pooch
