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Animal cruelty

On Sunday we took my sister to The Wetlands that Smell Like a Fart for the first time. We tried running on a hands-free leash with 2 leads coming off of the same waist belt. I don’t know how to describe to you how complicated that was, because I couldn’t even understand how I kept getting tangled with my sister, and Mom’s legs and I don’t even know what else. Every time we stopped, everyone had to get lined up again and stay in their lane.

But then real tragedy befell us! We got home and Mom called me to the people bathroom. I was apprehensive, but when I heard the door click shut behind me and Mom took off my collar, I knew I was screwed. Then the water turned on, and I just made my mind go blank until the horrible ordeal was over.

A few minutes later, Mom finally set me free. My sister, who had been whining outside the bathroom door the whole time said, “Hey! I missed you! Why are you all wet?!” “Don’t go in there…” I tried to warn her, but then Mom called in her excited voice. “Ooh! Adventure!” said my poor, misguided sister as the door closed behind her.

-Oscar the Pooch



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