“I guess I should introduce myself to all these disappointed people so they don’t feel like they drove so far from the Starbucks for nothing

“Maybe a prince will come knocking on every wagon door in Oregon searching for the freakishly small foot that fits,” I told her.

“Maybe a prince will come knocking on every wagon door in Oregon searching for the freakishly small foot that fits,” I told her.

“It’s beautiful!” Mom said, still in that ooey-gooey strawberry-shortcake voice. “This must be what enchantment feels like.”

“Silly dog. Nature deals luck randomly. We have to be prepared for anything so we can survive a bad hand until the cards are dealt again.”

“You don’t have to beat all of life’s levels by yourself. Sometimes someone has already made it easier, but you have to take their hints.”

“You don’t have to beat all of life’s levels by yourself. Sometimes someone has already made it easier, but you have to take their hints.”

I stepped into the river and made a big show of stopping for a drink to show the water that couldn’t push me around.

I stepped into the river and made a big show of stopping for a drink to show the water that couldn’t push me around.

“They can’t catch us if we outrun them.” Mom leaned forward and fell uphill in what looked like the sprint of someone who just grew legs

I must have been behind a rock by the time Mom came by. The next time I heard her, she was bellowing my name from farther down the trail.

“Mom! Guess what!” I wagged. “You’ll never guess who I just chased! He was extra fluffy and—“

I looked back at the bite mark and my body went cold. A something was flapping just beyond the edge of it...

"You're not even paying attention to who might be sneaking up on you!” I checked out all the windows, then I checked them again.

"You're not even paying attention to who might be sneaking up on you!” I checked out all the windows, then I checked them again.

“The part where you don’t know how it’s going to end is the funnest part of any story,” I agreed. 

Even though I need no introduction, I asked Mom to introduce my story by writing the furword to my book.

"Oh brother," she said from behind me in a voice like an eye roll. My collar dug into my throat as she reeled me in a little closer.

"Oh brother," she said from behind me in a voice like an eye roll. My collar dug into my throat as she reeled me in a little closer.

"Mom! No! How could you? I'm a celebrity. It'll be all over TMZ! And my fans will never recognize me with that on."