"Mom! No! How could you? I'm a celebrity. It'll be all over TMZ! And my fans will never recognize me with that on."

"Mom! No! How could you? I'm a celebrity. It'll be all over TMZ! And my fans will never recognize me with that on."

Questions like that are how Mom cheats at arguments. She knows that dogs can't tell the future like she can.

Questions like that are how Mom cheats at arguments. She knows that dogs can't tell the future like she can.

"Oh my dog! It's the shoopacabra!" I barked. "Let's get him!" I leaned hard into the leash and ordered him to run.

I couldn't tell if it was nature or civilization calling her back, just that Mom was accepting the call.

I couldn't tell if it was nature or civilization calling her back, just that Mom was accepting the call.

If you try to make everything look like the plan, then you're going to miss a lot and spend the whole adventure being frustrated.

Death sat self-consciously behind them all, its bloodthirsty depths and time-stained teeth awkwardly out of place among the picnic tables, r

Even the raindrops were prickly, as if it were raining wasps. Beside the trail, the bristle bushes bloomed with food wrappers and underpants

Even the raindrops were prickly, as if it were raining wasps. Beside the trail, the bristle bushes bloomed with food wrappers and underpants

The trail turned shiny as a mirror and the river turned to stucco as we ran. I squinted to keep the rain out of my eyes as the world outside

The trail turned shiny as a mirror and the river turned to stucco as we ran. I squinted to keep the rain out of my eyes as the world outside

The leash may have been gone, but the bond we'd built over so many thousands of miles could never be unhitched. When Mom let me off the lea

If a dog sneaks into the park when no one is there to be scared of him, and his assistant picks up his poop and distracts him from the scent

Schrödinger's Law follows the no harm/no fowl principle: as long as you use a short leash, don't wake the owl chicks, and leave no clues,

“But we run faster than this when you’re not here. I think you’re actually slowing us down by pulling her.”

Since we’re all tied together, it comes down to a vote about whether we chase critters or no. That's called democracy.