Hi, friends. I’m sorry I’ve been so quiet lately. I know that each of you only open your Facebook every day hoping to hear news from me. I apologize for disappointing you. Since I don’t have fingers, I rely on a stenographer to record my thoughts. My stenographer has been suffering from ennui, and just can’t be bothered to write my thoughts down lately. You just can’t find good help these days…
Anyway, Mom and I have still been running. The other day we crossed a bridge right at the furthest border of My Trail, and we found a whole separate Trail that runs parallel to my Trail. I felt famous as we ran along it, because whenever I looked to my right (and then to my left once we turned around), I could see my jurisdiction just on the other side of the thicket. Recognizing it from afar, it made me feel famous; like I was another dog, looking over at my life and thinking about how cool it must be to live over there on the other side… I decided that dog would think that I was a pretty cool dude and wish he were me.
NotMom has also been on a long trip, and forgot to clip my sister’s nails before leaving! My sister, who is a fraidycat and a crazyperson is afraid of getting her nails clipped by anyone but NotMom, so Mom has decided that our job is to take her on extra walks and runs every day to file her nails down. Luckily, when Mom gets home from work, that’s when the mailman is in our neighborhood walking our usual loop. So we follow him around the neighborhood, staying a couple of houses away, and every time we see him my sister sprints to the end of her leash and then runs in place barking like crazy. Mom yells at her every time, and tries hiding behind cars stuffing us with treats until the mailman goes away, which I think is just stupid. Since she can’t go forward, all the scrabbling wears down my sister’s nails instead: mission accomplished! Not that I’m complaining about all the treats…
–Oscar the professional esthetician
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