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Festively plump

I don’t know about you guys, but it sure has been hard to keep my lean figure through the holidays. I mean, Mom and NotMom offer me healthy meals, but with delicious treats just lying out on every table it’s SO hard to resist… First it was Thanksgiving, with the leftovers: Usually Mom goes food shopping for me about once a month, and I eat leftovers out of tupperware until it’s gone. But this Thanksgiving I figured out how to open both of the tupperwares and ate all the leftovers while Mom was away at work. Uf.

Then there are all the holiday parties and gifts… Mom came home from Mexico and brought me and my dog- and cat-sisters each sombreros. I ate those. NotMom left a beautiful giftbox full of treats out for me another day. I tried to use self-control and only eat one or two, but… I got bored, and ate every single one of those tissues before my family came back home. Then, this gift came in the mail: a check! I opened it and ate that too.

So despite my active lifestyle, my waistline has been expanding this holiday season, and I was anxious to get out and run this morning. “Mooooooaaaaahhhhhhm! I’m a fat cooooooooowwwww!” I moaned as I licked her plate while she got up to get something from the kitchen. Mom didn’t sleep well last night, but because I’ve been so good about getting up for her, she was a trooper and got up for me. Having a workout buddy is all about accountability, right?

She sure sucked…wind! She was doing okay until we turned around, and then it was like she instantly gained HER holiday 20lb right there at mile 3 of My Trail. I thought we were never going to make it back to the house! She made me WALK part of the way. How am I supposed to maintain my waistline through the holiday season with a bunch of lazy slobs and diet saboteurs like this?!

-Oscar the Blob



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